…preparing to scratch Teresa’s eyes out.

…the voice of reason.

…not Hilary.

Louis Theroux – He comes across as a naive, slightly bumbling, pat him on the head type of public school boy, lost in a strange world of strangeness. But that’s the appeal I guess. Therouxly cutesy.

Steven Merchant – Not to be confused with that guy from Emmerdale. Note some similarities to the picture of Theroux. Are you getting a picture of a predisposition for overly tall geeky guys in glasses? Ruh-huh.

Merchant has the most unappealing accent on the planet but somehow I like that. I don’t like it on that horse-racing commentator fellow, you know the one with curly hair that a lot of women fancy? Well I don’t.

Frank Gallagher – Just the character, not the actor. He actually resembles Mr RE. Mr RE has a job though, and a flat. I’m not that crazy.

Kenny Everett – Well, give me some credit for not making my gay choice, Will Young. (No thanks). Kenny was really cute and he looked very sweet in cardigans. I love a man in a cardigan. They look so domesticated. He was sleepy and sardonic looking. I like that.